The Royalty of Erebor
by Ereanella
Summary: The aftermath of the Battle of the Five Armies is terrible, and Kili has to make a choice that could change his life forever (and that of an elf he just met, Aredhel of Mirkwood). [Kili/OC Fanfiction; AU] HIATUS FOR NOW
1. Chapter 1 - The awakening

**Hi everyone! Here is my new story, and I think it will last quite long :) It is a Kili/OC fanfiction, which takes place after the Battle of the Five Armies. You will know what happened to Thorïn, Kili, Fili and all the others in this first chapter.**

 **As I said in my first two One-Shots, English is not my native language, so please, excuse me if you see any mistakes in this chapter (and the ones after).**

 **Rating: T for now**

 **Disclaimer: I am not Tolkien or Peter Jackson, and I do not own anything, except my OC. I do not earn any money with this work.**

 **And now, I am letting you read this first chapter! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 1:** **The awakening**

When Kili awoke, he immediately started to panic. The last thing he remembered was... It was the battle! It was Fíli being brought down by some Orcs, and his Uncle lying on the floor, unconscious!

He tried to sit up, but fell back on the mattress. There was so much pain... He couldn't move, he couldn't even think clearly. And when he spoke, his voice was hoarse and hesitant, "F-Fili?" No answer came to him. Where was his brother? He was sure he was... No, actually, he wasn't sure Fíli was alive. Since he had woken up, he had felt weird, like he was... empty.

"Fili?" he called again. "Brother?"

"Master Dwarf, calm down." The voice was feminine, and he tried to look at the woman who had just spoken. He could easily see her wavy blonde hair, and her... pointy ears? Had he seen well?

"Elf?" he murmured.

"Well, yes, Master Dwarf. Your friends, the other members of your Company, asked for the best healer of Mirkwood. They apparently did not want you to die."

"Why an elf healer? Why not a healer from the men?"

She didn't answer him, and he tried to gather more information. "Fili?" This time, he wasn't calling for his brother, he just wanted to know if...

The she-elf turned away from him, very elusive.

"Please, answer me. Fili... Is he...?" He couldn't even finish his question.

"You should rest, Master Dwarf."

"Answer me!" he suddenly shouted, and he saw the elf shudder. He normally didn't act like that, and he was almost feeling sorry for screaming at her like this, but he _desperately_ wanted to know. Did he feel that empty because his brother was... dead?

"I will answer to you when I am sure you will not overreact."

"He is dead, am I right? And Thorïn was not unconscious either, he..."

Tears suddenly filled his eyes. He felt like his heart was burning.

"Leave me alone," he begged. He was trying to contain his sobs, but the more he tried, the more he felt like he was dying on the inside.

"As you wish, Master Dwarf," the elf responded.

He didn't even notice the slight frown on her face, because tears were already streaming down his cheeks. He was alone... His brother had promised him he would always stay with him, he told him he would protect him as long as he could. And he couldn't anymore. Neither could his Uncle. He...

"Do you want me to bring your mother here?"

He looked at the she-elf, trying to stop crying. His mother? Was she really here? He nodded. It might be selfish, but he needed someone to share his grief.

"She will be here soon," the elf slightly smiled. And then she exited the room, leaving him on his own. He didn't know, in the end, if he prefered when she was still in the room. Her light was comforting.

He looked at the ceiling, waiting for his mother. No, the ceiling was too dark to be stared at. He was supposed to like darkness, he lived all his life in the Ered Luin, but it wasn't the same. In his former home, he still had his brother and his Uncle by his side, and... No, he should not think of them, he tried to reason himself.

He tried to lift his hand up to his face, but pain suddenly arose from his chest. All right, he was still hurting. He had realized that before, but his brief conversation with the elf had troubled him a lot. And he had even forgotten to ask her since when he had been asleep.

The door opened, and he saw his mother entering the room.

" _Amad_ ," he said, his voice so sad that Dis instantly came towards him.

She had promised the she-elf (Aredhel, if she remembered well) to spare him, but she couldn't just leave him alone in his despair.

"I know, Kili." And indeed, she knew. She had spent the last months worrying about her sons, hoping that they would come back to her, and when she received the raven asking her to come to Erebor, her heart had briefly stopped. They had succeeded! Her brother and her sons, and the other members of their Company, had taken back Erebor from Smaug the Terrible! She hadn't thought about it twice and she had just ridden to their reclaimed kingdom. And she had discovered the terrible truth: yes, they had succeeded, but at such a terrible price... Her brother and her eldest son had died protecting each other. And Kili... Well, even the she-elf who was taking care of him couldn't tell if he would finally wake up one day.

She actually felt horrible right now: she was so relieved that her yougest son had not died, so relieved that she briefly forgot about the deaths of Fili and Thorïn. And she told him, "I feel so bad too..."

Kili looked at the door, checking if the elf was still there. He didn't want to cry in front of her anymore. He had already done that, and... He wasn't sure he should have.

"They are dead." His statement was almost too calm. He didn't want the silence to keep going, but he didn't want to express his despair either. His mother was sad enough, without him crying.

"You have the right to cry, my son. I did it myself. A lot."

"I do not want to overwhelm you with my pain, _Amad_. You have already suffered enough."

"Kili... Do not worry about me. You just woke up, you are still hurting, I can see it in your eyes, and you discovered your brother and your Uncle died. You have the right to cry. Aredhel, the elf who was watching after you, told me you did already, but please, my son, do it again if it can help you overcoming your pain."

Those words, and the tenderness in which they were spoken, seemed to sadden the young dwarf even more. Tears suddenly filled his eyes again, and he finally let them streaming down his face. And he felt like he cound never stop crying again. His mother gently put her hand on his shoulder, and he didn't move. He didn't even feel the physical pain anymore, the only one that burned inside him was the one caused by the loss of Fili and Thorïn.

He actually stopped sobbing after a few minutes. He felt so weak and dizzy, and the pain coming from his wounds started to overwhelm him again.

" _Amad_ ," he called out in an almost inaudible voice. "My wounds... are they healed?"

"Aredhel told me it would take time before they stop hurting. You have already been asleep for a month, but you will have to wait before you can even stand up." She paused, before asking him, "Do you remember what happened to you, my _dashshat_?"

He took a deep breath, trying to relax his features and to forget the pain, before answering, "I remember... I remember the battle. I remember... Fili falling on the ground, besides Uncle's unmoving body. I remember the pain in my chest, and... that is all I can think about."

Talking about his pain, and therefore thinking about it, only made it worse. His breath was now shorter and shorter, even if he was trying to hide it.

"Kili..." his mother deplored. "I am sorry. I should not ask questions like this, not after everything you have been through. You should try to sleep," she added, brushing his cheek with her fingers. He thus noticed that his cheeks were maybe the only part of his body that did not hurt that much.

He closed his eyes, obeying his mother. He knew he most likely wouldn't sleep well, but he was so tired he didn't really care.

* * *

When he opened his eyes again, he didn't remember anything of what happened during that long night. No nightmares had disturbed him during his long time of sleep. And that perturbed him even more. Of course, he hadn't wished to have nightmares, but he just lost two members of his family, so it just seemed normal that he would dream of them...

"Master Dwarf, you are already awake," the she-elf (Aredhel, he remembered) stated.

He didn't answer, because she didn't need him to.

"You seem to have slept well," she continued. When she saw him frown, she quickly added, "That is a good thing. You will heal faster."

He didn't look like he was glad to do so, she realized. She then took a seat beside his bed and told him, "I know how you feel, Master Dwarf."

"You do?" he sadly grinned.

"Yes. And I know that a part of you wishes you could just... give up, but you must not listen to that voice. Your people need you."

"My... people?" he stammered, looking bewildered.

She saw the precise moment when he understood what she meant. He tried to shake his head, but groaned painfully. He finally declared, "I will not take the crown of Erebor."

She paused before answering him, "The time has not yet come to talk about this, Master Dwarf."

" _You_ started this discussion, my Lady, and I will not let you end it!"

She tried to get up, but his hand suddenly caught her wrist. She heard him scream in pain, and his hold on her arm abruptly loosened. She turned towards him, seeing his eyes slidding shut.

"Master Dwarf?" she called after him. "Kili?!" He still didn't answer and stayed unconscious.

She searched for a pulse, and was greatly reassured when she found one. Otherwise, what would she have told Dis and the dwarves to explain his death?

She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers. This was not the only reason why she didn't want him to die. She wasn't really afraid of the Company. But the long month she had spent in Erebor, taking care of the young dwarf, had changed her. She was not like the other elves anymore; she was not disgusted when she saw a dwarf or a dwarrowdam around her. Even if they didn't like her, and she was quite sure of this, they didn't show it. They paid her some respect for what she was doing for their future King.

"I heard ye screaming his name, Lady Aredhel," a voice suddenly came from behind her.

She turned towards the dwarf who had just spoken to her, and discovered the one she knew was Dwalïn.

"I think I just did a mistake, Master Dwalïn," she finally explained. "I told him that he would have to take the crown of Erebor."

"He will. But first he has to grieve."

"You do not have that time, and everyone here knows it. Soon, the armies of Orcs my King has seen while returning to Mirkwood will be there. You have no time, you must take a king _now_."

"But he cannot rule," the dwarf stated. "Not when he is hurting. Not when he thinks his Uncle or his brother should have been King instead."

"That is why I am asking you to change his mind. I know it will not be easy, but you need it."

"And what about his wounds? He cannot be crowned on a bed."

"I will take care of his wounds, do not worry about that, Master Dwarf."

They just exchanged one more look before the she-elf left the room, leaving the dwarf to watch for the heir of Durin.

* * *

"Kili?" the young dwarf suddenly heard. It wasn't Aredhel who was calling for him, but he also knew this voice.

He opened his eyes and discovered his wounds didn't hurt as much as before. Everything was still blurry, but he saw Dwalïn sitting down on a chair next to his bed. He tried to speak, but he couldn't.

"Don't try to speak, my friend," the dwarf said. "Lady Aredhel told us ye wouldn't be able to. Do you feel better now? Physically, I mean?"

The warrior was right to add this question. He hadn't forgotten what had happened to Fili and Thorïn, and he was still mourning their deaths. But physically speaking, he did feel better. He didn't know what the elf had done, but it was effective. So he nodded briefly, without feeling any pain.

"Do you remember what the she-elf told you?" the bald dwarf continued.

He frowned again, but he immediately tried to relax his features. Not because of the pain, but because he knew that Dwalïn only wanted to help. He was also pretty sure the elf meant no harm by telling him about the crown of his kingdom. He finally nodded in response to the imposing warrior's question.

"She told me ye hadn't been convinced by her words."

And she probably wanted Dwalïn to convince him. She didn't know him if she thought...

He suddenly saw the dwarf heading towards the door. What was he doing?! He felt his heart clench with fear. He didn't want to be alone. He would think about the death of his beloved brother and Uncle again, and...

"You know you will have to say yes, Kili. When you are healed, you _will_ take the crown of Erebor."

He shook his head again. No, he would never dare to accept the crown of the newly reclaimed kingdom. His Uncle was the one who was meant to be its king, not him, not even Fili! And his brother was the rightful heir of Durin, not him...

When the door closed behind Dwalïn, he tried to move a little. Hunger... He hadn't felt it before, but it was definitely there. He lifted his hands up to his head, feeling the fabric of a bandage around it. A line appeared on his forehead. He didn't think he had been wounded there!

"Do not touch your bandage, Master Dwarf," a voice suddenly came from the door.

The she-elf... She was there, with food! He didn't know he could be that grateful.

"I think you are quite hungry, Mas-"

"Kili," he interrupted her, trying to speak once more, and succeeding this time. She had saved his life, she had brought him food when it felt like he was starving, so it just seemed natural to him that she had the right to call him by his name.

"All right," she smiled, approaching the bed. "You must be quite hungry, Kili, so here is some food for you."

She let him eat, while she was going back and forth into the room. Quite a beautiful room, he noticed as he observed his surroundings. When he finally finished eating, he realized something. He should probably apologize for being that impolite with her.

"I am sorry," he told her in a soft tone.

She looked at him, seemingly surprised.

"For what?" she finally asked.

"For treating you like... I did. It wasn't... fair. And I am sorry."

She tilted her head slightly. "You are a dwarf, I am an elf. You are not supposed to feel sorry for me."

If it didn't hurt that much, he would have laughed. She still believed in these stupid prejudices!

"I do not feel sorry... for you, I am sorry for... what I did to you. It is not the same thing, Lady Aredhel. And you saved me. You did not deserve my mistreatment."

"I have known worse, Ma- Kili."

"What do you mean?" And there he was, frowning again.

"Are you really expecting me to tell you my story when we barely know each other, Master Dwarf?"

He didn't even bother telling her that she shouldn't call him that way anymore. She might be right, he thought. He didn't know her, but... She had still saved his life, healed his wounds, and he owed her some respect for this.

"No," he finally replied. They both stayed quiet for a moment, before he asked again, "My wounds do not hurt anymore. Is it because of something you did?"

"Probably." She didn't continue, and he wasn't really expecting her to. That's why he was quite astonished when she added, "I, on the other hand, feel sorry for you."

His expression darkened. He was perfectly aware of what she was speaking of, and that didn't please him. He didn't want to think about them, not when he was having a calm discussion with her. A discussion that, until now, kept his dark thoughts locked at bay.

"Do not," he snapped back, his tone a little sharper than what he intended.

"Fine. I will let you sleep again then, Master Dwarf."

And she left the room, before he could even think of the words to hold her back.

* * *

 **Translation:**

 _ **amad**_ **= mother (Khuzdul)**

 ** _dashshat_ = son (Khuzdul)**

* * *

 **Okay, I might be quite cruel with Kili!**

 **Please, tell me what you thought of this chapter, and of my OC, Aredhel. :) And don't hesitate to tell me if there are any mistakes in this first chapter.**

 **See you next week for another chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Recovery

**Hello everyone! There it is (finally)! The second chapter! I thought I could post it on Monday, but I wasn't able to, sorry about that :(**

 **Disclaimer:** **I am not Tolkien or Peter Jackson, and I do not own anything, except my OC. I do not earn any money with this work.**

 **Anyways, I am now letting you read this chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2:** **Recovery**

The elf was astonished by the dwarf's anger. She just wanted him to know she _truly_ was sorry for his loss. And he just snapped back at her!

The next day, she hesitated before coming back to him. She knew it wasn't fair of her, she was aware that he _needed_ her, but she couldn't help but feeling... betrayed, maybe? Was this the right word? Probably not. It was not like they were friends in any way. He had just apologized to her for "mistreating" her, and he did it _again_ minutes later! She didn't understand him. In fact, she was beginning to think that she didn't understand anyone in this mountain, she realized as she walked by the corridors, heading towards Kili's room.

She now knew her way very well, she could make it eyes closed. She let her thoughts overwhelm her. Now that Kili had been this impolite with her, she felt uncomfortable here. It made her realize that she kind of missed her home back in Mirkwood. She didn't have a family anymore, but at least, she was surrounded by her kin there. And the elves respected her, because she had helped a lot of them, being their best healer.

She blinked, locking away her disturbing thoughts. She looked around her and found herself two hallways from the dwarf's room. She suddenly heard a scream, and she rushed for him, forgetting in an instant her rancor. What was happening?!

When she burst into his room, she saw him shaking, his eyes firmly closed. And she understood. He only had one night of calm sleep before the nightmares came rushing down on him. She hesitated. She didn't know how to wake him up. After all, he was a warrior. He could attack her just because she had awoken him too abruptly. No, he couldn't, not in his actual state, she tried to reason herself. But if she awoke him too brusquely, he could panick and it could make everything go wrong...

Another scream, more audible this time, made her reach for his shoulder. She touched it slightly, but he didn't wake up. She flinched when he desperately moaned again. And she finally understood what he was saying. "Fili." She asked herself if it would harm him to shake him, and she finally decided it would be far better if he was finally awaken. She then slightly shook him, grabbing his shoulder even more firmly.

Kili suddenly opened his eyes, gasping for air. He tried to sit up, but she forced him to lay back on the mattress.

"Fili," he murmured again.

She lowered her gaze to look at him. And then she told him, as cruel as it could seem, "He is not here, Kili. And you know it." She still wanted to help him, despite the way he had treated her.

He looked at her with confused eyes, and finally calmed down. Sadness didn't leave his eyes, though.

"Lady Aredhel," he slowly told her. "Do you know you just sounded quite cruel?"

She just raised an eyebrow at him. He had to be joking! Was he really telling her that _she_ had sounded cruel? Did he hear himself speak the day before?

He seemed to realize the hypocritical side of his question, and lowered his gaze, looking quite ashamed.

"I did not want to snap at you, Lady Aredhel," he continued.

"And I should not have talked about... them," she finally conceded. "Yet, you did sound just as hypocritical as I sounded cruel." She let a small smile play on her lips. A smile that he did not return.

"I had a nightmare," he spoke up again.

"I noticed, Kili."

"Did I..."

"You did talk," she quickly answered before he could even finish his question.

"And what did I say?"

"I think you perfectly know that."

A sad grin came playing on his lips, and he looked right into her eyes.

"Aye, I guess I do." He briefly paused, before he asked her in his most innocent tone, "Could I sit up, my Lady? My wounds don't hurt me anymore, and..."

"They do not hurt you because you are staying still. If you move, you will feel the pain again."

"I think I can handle it, Miss."

He then noticed the smile that was playing on her lips again.

"Oh, don't be so sure of that, my _dashshat_!" He slowly looked behind the tall elf, and saw his mother standing there, her arms crossed over her chest.

" _Amad..._ " he sighed, before turning back to Aredhel. "You knew she was there, right?"

"I did indeed."

" _Amad_ , I am fine," he tried to convince Dis.

"No, you are not fine. As Lady Aredhel said, if you sit up, you will faint again because of the pain." This was a new voice, but one he perfectly knew.

"Bilbo!" he exclaimed. Even though he did not smile, he still felt relieved to see him. He knew every dwarf from the Company, beside his brother and his Uncle, were fine. Dwalïn had told him so. But if more of his friends had died during the battle, it would have been unbearable!

"My friend," the hobbit greeted him with a little smile. Not a wide grin like the one he used to adress him, but a little, sad one. He guessed that Bilbo was affected by their deaths too...

"How did you make it?" Kili asked, a slight frown on his face. If his family didn't live, how could he have? He wasn't a warrior, and...

"I don't really know."

"Master Dwarf, try to relax a little," Aredhel commanded.

"But..." he tried to speak.

"Kili, do as she says," his mother added.

He was aware that when Dis was speaking as firmly as she just had, he should obey her. His mother could be quite... scary sometimes. So he tried to relax his features and forced a smile on his lips.

"That's better," she told him. "When will he be able to move again?" she asked the tall elf.

"I do not know. Probably in a few days, _if you stay still_ ," she added, turning her head towards him. "If you do not, your wounds could reopen, and I might be unable to help at that moment."

"I seriously doubt that," he said quietly.

"Me too, for if you are not able to help him, you are quite useless here..."

They all turned towards Dis, who had just spoken. The she-elf did not seem affected by her words, but everyone else looked at her with bewilderment.

" _Amad?_ " Kili was just as astonished as everyone else. "Why did you say that to her? She helped me, and..."

"And if she can't help you anymore, then she is useless here. Her people need her, after all. She is apparently the best healer of Mirkwood. She should be there, helping her kin."

"Are you not glad I was able to save him?" the elf questionned in a low tone.

"Of course we are," Bilbo exclaimed before the other dam could speak her mind. Dis simply nodded to show that she agreed with Bilbo. She was aware she had just been quite harsh, but Kili was her son, and if the she-elf let him die, she would command her to leave Erebor in the next few hours!

A little smile appeared on the she-elf's face, and she quickly bowed herself to thank the hobbit.

"Thank you, Master Hobbit." Her voice was so calm, Kili noticed. It was like she didn't care at all about what his mother had just said.

Aredhel turned towards the dwarrowdam and the hobbit, and asked them, "Do you have anything particular to say to Master Dwarf here?"

"Yes."

The elf and Dis did not lower their gazes and finally, the taller dam quickly nodded and turned to leave the room. Yet, she heard Kili's voice calling for her, and she stopped, without looking at him though.

"I am sorry, for yesterday."

She was glad he didn't see her smile. And she left the room without saying more words.

* * *

Aredhel was sitting on the chair before her desk, in her apartments. She was thinking about Kili's words. She had hoped that yesterday, the dwarf would have hold her back, and he hadn't. But he had now truly apologize to her, and even if she wished she had a stronger will, it had just taken a few words from him for her to forgive him.

She finally took one parchment and her quill, and began to write to one of her closest friends, Celadriel, another elf of Mirkwood.

 _My dear Celadriel,_

 _I just want to tell you that I have finally succeeded: I have healed Kili, the last heir of Durin. If everything goes like it is meant to happen, he will soon become the king of Erebor. And I know he will agree to help our own kingdom. With his help, we might be able to defeat the Orcs reuniting in Dol Guldur._

 _Yet, I do not know how I should convince him to take the crown of the dwarf kingdom. He still has to grieve the death of his brother and Uncle, and even if I do not wish to remind you of your losses, could you tell me something that will help him?_

 _What is happening in Mirkwood right now? I hope you do not need my help when I am far away..._

 _Your friend, Aredhel_

She slightly frowned. Was she doing the right thing by telling her friend these things about Kili? Besides, she was quite sure she shouldn't remind her of how Celadriel's brother had died during an attack of the Spiders... She sighed and put down the parchment on the desk. No. She shouldn't ask her anything but some news from her kingdom. She would figure out on her own how to convince Kili.

She walked out of her room. She was tired of being locked inside the mountain. She wanted to get out, to see the sun again, or the light of the stars! She hadn't gotten out in more than a month, staying by Kili's side for all that time. And she was tired of this constant darkness!

Her long white dress was flitting around her thin legs, and every dwarf she crossed paths with stared at her suspiciously. She could easily understand them: she was almost running down the dark corridors! Until someone stopped her, holding her wrist in a firm grip. She quickly turned around, thinking that the person behind her should be glad that she didn't have a weapon right now, because if she did, she would have reacted way more violently than that. She calmed down when she saw who had stopped her so brusquely: it was one of the dwarves she appreciated the most.

"Master Bofur," she greeted him with a tense smile.

"Lady Aredhel. Where were ye running to?"

"Outside. I am tired of being locked here."

"You were not locked, you could have run out a long time ago!" he exclaimed, clearly misunderstanding her words.

"No, I didn't mean it that way! I know I was not a prisoner, but Ki-Master Kili needed my help quite permanently. Now that he is awake, I can finally have more time alone. I simply want to see the light of the sun again, or that of the stars." She smiled at the memories that overwhelmed her. Such happy ones! She quickly refocused on Bofur, who was now smiling at her.

"Well, will you allow me to go with you then, Miss?"

"Of course!" The dwarf's smile was contagious, and she found herself grinning too. "Do you like those lights, Master Bofur?"

"I like the sun's light. The stars are far too distant for me."

"But they are memories."

The hatted dwarf looked up at her, slightly frowning.

"Memories of..." he began, but she cut him off.

"Memories of my family." She didn't continue. Bofur didn't need to know anything of her former life. Even if she liked him, he was still not supposed to be a friend of hers. Their people had always disliked each other.

"Do you think your family is happy, whereever she is?"

She lowered her gaze to look at him better. She knew what he meant. He didn't want to know about her family, but more about Thorïn and Fili. She then realized the bonds that must have been forged on their Quest. She didn't have the chance to see them when they were locked away in Mirkwood's dungeons, but she wished she had. Seeing people as united as them... She wanted to have such a strong relationship with someone again.

"I am sure they are happy. They have joined their ancestors, and they must be glad to see them again."

He nodded, gratitude written all over his face, and she returned his smile.

"When will Kili walk again?" the dwarf asked her again.

"In a week, if he stops trying to get on his feet. He is too weak for now."

"And... What did you do to him, my Lady?"

She frowned and tensed. She would not reveal her secrets to a dwarf, even if he was kind with her!

"It is a secret, Master Bofur," she responded. "A secret that I cannot reveal for now."

And then, she saw the light. A bright light, which could only mean...

"I can already feel the sun on my face!" she exclaimed, a wide grin playing on her lips. "I missed this feeling!"

She then realized that it was kind of impolite to say that in front of the dwarf, who probably liked the darkness very much, maybe even more than the sun's light. She tensed, but was reassured when she saw him smile a little.

"Me too," Bofur said. "I'm quite sure Kili misses it even more."

"One more week, and he will be able to see it again. Just one more week," she whispered quietly, her eyes fixed on the horizon.

* * *

One week later, she was paying her daily visit to Kili when he suddenly told her, "You know, the more I'm staying in this bed, the more bored I become. So could I at least try to get up, please?"

She hesitated, gauging him for a long time before she finally answered, "You should rest a little more. Maybe you could try tom-"

"No!" he exclaimed, before apologizing, "Sorry. It's just... I am so tired of staying in this bed! I feel so... useless here, so..." He quickly paused, realizing what he was about to say. He felt so alone here. And the elf didn't need to know that.

"Fine. You can try to stand, but if the pain comes back, you must promise me to lie down."

"Agreed," he smiled.

Aredhel realized this was the first time she had seen him smile a _real_ smile. She tried to ignore it, and held out her hand. He took it and slowly sat up. He immediately felt dizzy, and he stopped himself. He took a deep breath, and tightened his grip on the elf's hand. She slightly squeezed his in return, and smiled.

He moved again and stood up, only to find himself faltering. Aredhel helped him steadying himself, and after a few minutes, he finally was able to take a first step, the she-elf walking along with him.

"Are you fine, Kili? Or do you want to sit down for a few moments?" she asked him.

"I'm fine." And he was telling her the truth. The pain in his chest had not come back when he had taken this step. "I think I can try to walk alone."

"And I thin you cannot."

She seemed serious...

"Why not?" he demanded, frowning slightly.

"Because if you fall, your wounds will..."

"If I fall, I know you'll catch me," he retorted.

She looked at him, and finally let go of his hand. He started to falter again, and her brows furrowed, but he quickly steadied himself on his own. Until the door opened and he heard an exclamation. He turned around and saw his mother standing at the door. And he felt his knees becoming suddenly weak. He began to fall, but Aredhel caught him before he could hit the ground.

"I told you you would catch me," he smiled.

She shook her head, but couldn't help the little twist of her lips. "You really are incredible, Master Dwarf," she retorted.

"Yes, he is," Dis intervened. She didn't seem worried and walked towards her son, before she told the elf, "Can I stay with him?"

"Of course. He is your son, Lady Dis."

The dwarrowdam nodded with gratitude, and the elf left the room again. But before she could open the door, she heard the dwarf calling after her again, "Lady Aredhel?"

She didn't turn towards him, but she listened to him anyway.

"Thank you for healing me. Really. I wish you could have healed them too," he added.

This was the first time he talked about them voluntarily since he had woken up. She bowed her head, her long blonde hair slightly waving on her back, before she escaped the room, which was now filled with sorrow.

* * *

 **Translation:**

 ** _Amad_ = mother (Khuzdul)**

 ** _Dashshat_ = son (Khuzdul)**

* * *

 **Tell me what you thought of the characters in this chapter. Did you like Aredhel's story?**

 **Anyways, I hope you liked that chapter, and I am sorry if you found any mistakes in it!**

 **Sorry for the delay too (again), I hope I will be able to post on next Monday :) See you soon!**


	3. Chapter 3 - A broken king

**And here it is, the next chapter! Yes, I am late (again), but at a moment of this chapter, there is (a little of) Durin family fluff, so I hope that you'll forgive me! :)**

 **This chapter will also be longer than the previous two chapters, and I hope you'll find it worth the wait! ;)**

 **Any mistakes in this are mine, because this chapter is still unbetad for now.**

 **Disclaimer:** **I am not Tolkien or Peter Jackson, I do not own anything present in this story, except my OC, Aredhel. I do not earn any money with this work.**

 **And now, I am letting you read this chapter (which I am quite proud of)!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3:** **A broken king**

After the elf left the room, Dis looked at Kili and asked him, "Do you feel better?"

He tried to nod, but he quickly found out that he couldn't lie to her. So he shook his head, explaining himself, "I don't even know why I talked about... _them_ , _Amad_... I shouldn't have..."

"I know, my son," she whispered as she put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to calm down.

"Do your wounds still hurt you?" his mother continued. She knew she had to change the subject of their conversation, because thinking too much about _them_ would do no good. To anyone.

"No, I'm feeling well thanks to Aredhel," he answered almost immediately, thankful that his mother had stopped talking about Fili and Thorïn.

He then saw her frown, and he thought back on his words. Had he said something wrong?

"Aredhel?" she questioned. She clearly sounded bewildered.

"Yes. I think it is only right of me to call her by her name, and her name only. She saved my life, _Amad_."

"Yes, I guess you're right. But..."

"If you're about to tell me that she's an elf, mother, you may as well not tell it." His voice was unusually cold, and his mother stared at him for a few moments, before she finally started to smile.

"Well... I have to admit that I wanted to say it, but... You're right, that would not be fair of me." She paused, before asking again, "Have you taken a decision?"

"A... decision?" Kili repeated.

Dis saw his eyes darkening when he understood what she meant.

"I have already told you, mother, I will not become the King of Erebor."

"I know you do not want to, Kili, but please, think about it," she pleaded while leading him towards his bed.

She had felt him shudder, and she knew it was not because of the coldness of the room. He was beginning to get tired.

He gratefully sat down and sighed. "I was not supposed to be the King, _Amad_... Uncle was, and he would have been a great King! And Fili was the rightful heir, not _me_! He would have been..." He paused and closed his eyes. How he missed his brother! He thought talking about this with his mother would make it more bearable, but he was apparently wrong.

"And you think you will not be a King as great as they would have been?" Dis asked, frowning. Her youngest son was one of the kindest souls she had ever met, and he was far more opened to relations with the Elves and the Men than Dain was, his... friendship, or whatever that was, with the she-elf proved this.

"It is not about that. I..."

"My son, do you realize how much of a good King you will be? I think all can agree on this."

"No," Kili snapped. "I will not be a good King, because-"

"Do you not think Thorïn would be grateful to have you as the King? He respected Dain, but I believe we both know that he would think you are his rightful heir now."

"Let me think about it, _Amad_ ," Kili almost begged, because he knew she wouldn't give up on this. "I have a lot of time to do so, after all."

"Agreed," Dis nodded. "Do you want me to..."

"No, you don't need to stay, _Amad_." When he saw the look on his mother's face, he sighed and hold back a little smile. "I am serious, do not worry so much about me."

The dam finally turned on her heels, but he suddenly hold her back.

"Mother? I do not understand." She turned around and looked at him, slightly frowning. "I was asleep for more than a month, and yet, Erebor still has no King. Why?"

"Dain is ruling for now, but he is not crowned. He believed you would wake up soon, and you did."

"So... He does not want to be King either?"

"I believe he does. But you are part of his family, and it may be more important to him than the crown. Well, I hope it is."

He just nodded, and she left the room, leaving him to think about the choice he had to make.

* * *

When he woke up, he found Bofur sitting down next to his bed. He was awake and making one of his toys. He smiled when he saw what it was: a whistle. And he remembered...

 **Flashback:**

Fili is running behind him, trying to catch up wih him. And Kili laughs, because he perfectly knows he won't. He has always been the fastest.

He hears a whistle, and sees Thorïn smiling quietly. He was the one who just blew the whistle. And Kili continues to laugh, because he wants to see his Uncle smiling again. He looks just so much younger when he smiles.

"Well, Kili, you've outrun your brother once more!" the Prince exclaimed.

He hears Fili sighing and turns to look at him. He doesn't want his brother to be angry at him... But when he sees his face, relief washes over him. He is slightly smiling. And he is certainly not mad at him.

"He always does!" Fili puts a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with pride. And his smile widens, something that he didn't think possible two seconds before.

 **End of flashback.**

Kili suddenly heard a choked sob, and realized that he was crying, _again_. He was so tired of crying... And that also drove Bofur's attention away from his toy.

"Kili?" the toymaker asked quietly.

"I'm okay. It's just..." he paused, before finally continuing, "The whistle. It reminded me of... you know."

"Oh... I am sorry then." The hatted dwarf stopped talking for a few moments, before questioning, "I probably shouldn't ask you this, my friend, but... What did you remember?"

The younger dwarf didn't answer at first, but he finally spoke up, "When we were young, F-Fili and I used to run a lot. And Uncle was sometimes there, at the end of our run, and he would smile to me, because every single time, I was the one to win. And he told me that... he had bought his whistle to one of the best toymakers in the world. I believe it was you... And when he would hear that whistle, Fili would smile too, just because he's my brother and..." He suddenly stopped talking, and saw Bofur's smile again.

Finally, the dwarf with the hat stopped smiling, and became serious again.

"Have you..." he began, but Kili cut him off.

"Taken my decision?" he asked in a grim tone. "Nay, not yet, Bofur. I thought about it, but I think I need more time before I take my decision."

"I am sorry for asking this to you, my friend, but I have to know if Dain is going to become my King or not."

"You could still go back to the Ered Luin, I'm quite sure no one would hold it against you, not even him. It is your home, after all."

"Nah, it's not about it. It's just..." Bofur lowered his voice and added, "I am sure you'd be a greater King than him."

"You shouldn't speak like that. He'll be a good King. He's a great warrior, he has powerful armies, and..." He didn't finish his sentence, but the other dwarf understood him nonetheless. Dain was not... broken like Kili was. But that... he was quite sure the Prince could get better one day, with everyone's help.

He tried to convince him by saying, "And you are far more reasonable than him. You could be a great monarch too. You are not opposed to relations with the Elves."

"Because Dain is?!" the younger dwarf exclaimed. "But... He fought beside them in the Battle!"

"Aye. But still, the only Elf he seems to tolerate is Lady Aredhel, because she has healed you. No other, and certainly not King Thranduil."

"He does realize the King was probably the one to send her here to heal me?"

A little laugh escaped Bofur's lips. Not the kind of laugh he had before, but a far sadder one.

"We both know the only great King Erebor could have would be you, my friend."

The dwarf with the hat didn't let the other respond, he just stood and left the room before Kili could speak, leaving him alone to think _again_ about this decision that he should never have had to make.

* * *

A few days had passed. Every member of the Company had now visited him, telling him about their wish to see him as their King. And of course, Aredhel would come , everyday to help him walk in his chamber. And, as surprisingly as it could seem, he had revealed his intentions to her first. And she had kept his secret. He didn't want anyone else to know about his decision, and they all ignored that he had already taken it.

He now felt much better, physically speaking, and not as dizzy as he had been before.

"Aredhel, could you lead me outside, please?" he suddenly asked her three mornings after Bofur had come to him.

"Are you sure about this, Kili?" She sounded worried, he noticed. Of course, he knew why she was. It was not only because of his wounds, they were almost completely healed now, it was most certainly because the Dwarves of Erebor would see him for the first time since he had awoken.

"Yes. I am to become the King of this mountain, so I should know about my people, don't you think? Besides, I want to see the sun again..." he murmured, a little bit of his eyes' former light sparkling into them.

"And what if we actually are at night?" she retorted quite playfully.

"We are? Am I that lost in time?" he exclaimed, a worried frown appearing on his face.

"No, we probably aren't, Kili. I will wait for you outside. If you are absolutely sure you want to do this, join me after... you know, putting some _decent_ clothes on."

He lowered his gaze. Even if the tone she had spoken with was quite disrespectful, she had told the truth. He hadn't dressed up yet, and... Well, he only had his night clothes on. He definitely couldn't go out of his chamber dressed like _this_! Especially if he was to become... He frowned and stopped dead in his tracks. Was he really considering this?

He quickly changed his clothes, before taking a deep breath to calm himself down. He was sure it would be fine. And the golden sun would remind him of Fili, of his smile and his laugh, of the light he had always given him. He stopped walking again, feeling sadness overwhelming him once more. When would it stop hurting?

"Kili?" He quickly turned his gaze towards Aredhel. She was looking at him with so much worry in her eyes that he instantly felt guilty. "Are you..."

"Aye, I'm fine," he smiled. He was not completely stupid, he knew she wouldn't believe him, especially with his smile which was evidently forced.

"Then come with me. I will guide you."

He just nodded and followed her, even though he felt terribly ashamed. He didn't show it, of course, but seeing that an _Elf_ knew Erebor better than he did just... broke his heart a little more.

"Before the Battle, did you..." The elf hesitated before finishing her question, "Before the Battle, did you stay long in Erebor? Long enough to know its walls, its halls, its stone?"

He frowned, before quietly answering, "No. Just one day and one night. And we stayed at the Gate for most of the time."

"See? Do not worry if you don't really remember here. You didn't spend enough time in here to learn about Erebor."

"I have to say, it is different from what I expected. Un-Uncle Thorïn always described it as... the mightiest of all the dwarf kingdoms of Middle Earth. And when I came in here, there were only... ruins. And it was so cold and... silent. Nothing like what Fili and I had expected..."

"You'll see, Kili... This Erebor is quite different from the one you left." Aredhel smiled slightly, and he just nodded. "It is quite lively. And yet..." She didn't finish his sentence, but he understood. He lowered his gaze, and suddenly felt a delicate hand on his shoulder. His head jerked up and he looked up at the she-elf. When he saw her face, he couldn't help but feel worse. It was as if she knew everything he was feeling, and that quite evidently worsened her mood.

"You know, you don't have to be this nice to me." These words left his mouth before he could hold them back. And surprisingly, he heard something he had never heard before... He heard the elf laugh.

"I know that, Kili. And I can assure you I am not nice to you because I think I have to, but because I want to."

He simply nodded, and his mood quickly lightened.

* * *

She just watched him. She had already come here a few days ago, so she preferred looking at him than looking at the sun, though she was glad her skin was warmed up by it. She studied his relaxed features with attention. His chin was covered in stubble, and it was unusual for a dwarf, but she had to admit that it suited him quite well. At this precise moment, his dark eyes were closed. His lips slightly twitched up when he felt the sun on his skin.

"You probably don't even know how many times I dreamt of this during the past week, Aredhel," he smiled.

"Let me disagree with you. I probably know, because I did too. You were asleep for a month, Kili, and I barely left your side-"

"You barely left my side?" he cut her off, grinning mockingly.

"You were hurt," she quickly justified herself. "Anyways, I did not have a lot of time to myself, so I can assure you that I did not see the sun more than you did."

"And I-"

"Don't tell me again that you are sorry, Kili. It was not your fault, none of it was."

He was ready to answer, but a dwarf intervened just as he opened his mouth.

"My King!" the said dwarf exclaimed from the bottom of the stairs that led to the wall they were perched on.

Kili let out a little sigh, and then he turned and looked at the apparently quite young soldier who bowed before him. He knew he shouldn't be upset, but why did everyone think he would become their King? He had not made any official declaration, he had just walked out of his chambers for the first time in a month and a half! He forced himself to smile and invited him to stand up by a small gesture.

"You appear to be quite young..." he noticed, and then asked, "How old are you?"

He then realized that he was quite young himself. Seventy-seven years... The quest itself had changed him, but the war... it was the worst thing he ever remembered. It had really marked the end of his childhood.

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and he froze, before recognizing Aredhel. He fixed his gaze on the dwarf again, and noticed he was slightly frowning.

"I am sorry, but I didn't hear your answer," he admitted. "I was..." He didn't finish his sentence, not wanting to reveal why he was so lost in his thoughts.

"Oh, no! Do not apologize, my King! I am a simple soldier, I do not deserve-"

"Nonsense!" the future King exclaimed. "So, how old are you, young one?"

"I am seventy, my Lord."

"And what is your name?"

"Kirin, my Lord."

He simply nodded, and the young soldier seemed to understand. He quickly bowed again and went on his patrol.

"Why is everyone aware of my decision before I even talked about it?" he wondered.

The she-elf retorted immediately, "You are the only one who doubted yourself, Kili. Everyone was quite sure you would wake up and take the crown of Erebor. And now that you are awake and walking through the kingdom, their dreams are coming true..."

He let out a deep breath and finally relaxed. Everyone had believed in him, even when he had doubted himself... He turned again towards the sun, which was shining brightly, and he remembered how it used to make Fili's hair shine.

* * *

The days passed at a speed no one could ever imagine. And finally, after two other weeks, the time finally came when he would be crowned. He had announced he would take the crown the day he had spent on the wall above the great doors of the kingdom, and since that day, everyone was so busy preparing the ceremony that even his mother and the other members of the Company hadn't visited him as often as before.

Of course, messengers had been sent to Dale and (Kili had insisted on this) Mirkwood, and Bard and his family came to Erebor that day. Thranduil himself had come to the dwark kingdom, letting his kingdom in the safe hands of his son, who had returned with him. He knew the Orcs were still rallying in Dol Guldur, preparing for... something, and Legolas was the only one he trusted with the task of looking after the kingdom and his people.

On this day, Dis helped him choose the right clothes, and when he came out of his chambers, he seemed to radiate. Not with joy, of course, because he was still mourning his brother and his Uncle, but with... authority.

Before stepping into the silent hall where all the Dwarves of Erebor stood, he took in a deep breath. He had to stay calm and stand tall. And then he moved forward, through the great door that two guards had opened for him. He imperceptibly nodded, and then moved towards the throne. His movements were still strained because of his wounds (and, he had to admit it, because of his fear of this moment too).

When he finally faced the throne (no, _his_ throne) and the Arkenstone, he pursed his lips in anger. All that happened had come to pass because of this damn stone! He tore his gaze away from it and quickly turned towards the crowd surrounding him. He never thought he would be this intimidated by his people one day. He let his gaze wander over the crowd, searching briefly for a familiar face. A member of the Company, maybe, or his mother, or... Just... someone he knew! His eyes finally crossed his mother's, and she smiled gently. She apparently wanted to encourage him.

Dain, who was standing next to him, suddenly whispered, "Kneel now."

He obeyed and bowed his head, and he felt someone who was moving beside him. This person then faced him, and he felt almost... trapped against this throne he didn't really want.

"Long live the King," Dain's voice suddenly boomed around the hall.

And Kili felt the crown, the heavy, _heavy_ crown, upon his head. And he slowly stood, listening to the song which rang through the large hall. "Long live the King, long live the King," everyone repeated. But he didn't feel like a King right now. Still, he inclined his head and the room slowly became silent again. He knew why. Everyone here wanted him to speak, to pronounce a great speech, but at this precise moment, he forgot what to say. He opened his mouth, but no words came out of it. He tried to think as quickly as possible of the words his Uncle would have said in such a situation, but not a single one came to his mind.

"This day is not my day," he finally spoke up. "It has come to pass because of those who fought in the Battle for Erebor. If I chose to become King, it is only so I can protect you better and prevent any more harm to fall upon you. All of you..." At this, his gaze landed on Bard and his family, and even on the elf King. "You have my eternal gratitude."

Maybe he shouldn't have spoken these words, he realized when a deep silence fell onto the great hall. Maybe they were too... His thoughts were interrupted when someone he didn't even personally knew shouted, "To the King!" And this shout was quickly repeated by every single person present in the room. Even Bard, Bain, Sigrid and Tilda joined their voices to the loud shout, but the elf King didn't bother doing something else than briefly inclining his head.

And even if Kili still felt bad, this... This was just so... terribly... moving.

* * *

He was walking amongst the dwarves, talking to a few of them, telling himself that if he got close to them, they would accept him faster.

"You cannot see it, can you?" he suddenly heard. He slowly turned on his heels and looked at Thranduil. "They already accept you, dwarf King. They already respect you. You do not need to talk to them to make them do so."

"They don't know me yet. How can they know I-"

"You are young," the elf remarked. " _Too_ young even." He paused when Kili raised his eyebrows. "But that is not why I came to you, Master Dwarf."

"You want to know about the Lady Aredhel, right?" the dwarf questioned.

"Indeed. How is she?"

"Why do you care?" Kili hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but at this precise moment, he remembered the she-elf's words. She had told him " _I have known worse"_ when he had apologized about his mistreatment. And that meant she had probably been insulted before, by her kin most likely! And the King...

"I care because my- because _I_ taught her everything she knows about healing." The elf's voice was calm and slightly menacing, but Kili didn't react. Had he... misunderstood her words then?

"She is fine," he finally answered quietly.

"Good. And you are too, apparently. Well, as good as you can be... Where is she now?"

"She didn't want to come here. She said it was not her place."

"It sounds very much like her," the elf King nodded, an expression on his face that the dwarf had never seen before, not in this way anyway. Was it a little and gentle... smile? His thoughts were interrupted by Thranduil, "I hope she will return to us soon. We will need her, without a doubt."

At these words, the dwarf frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Do you not have other healers in Mirkwood? If you sent her away after the Battle, it means that you do have some, then why-"

"You are far too curious for your own good, Master Dwarf," the blonde elf cut him off. "But we do have other healers in Mirkwood, they are just... not as good as her."

"Why would you need her?" Kili asked again before he could stop himself.

"Nobody told you what is happening?" Thranduil almost exclaimed. Of course, he didn't really do so, because it would have broken the expression of total indifference he almost constantly wore.

"No." The young king tried to sound as nonchalant as he could, but he knew it was quite unsuccessful.

"I do not think it is my place to reveal it to you. Ask this to the other dwarves."

And as quickly as he had appeared, the elf disappeared, leaving Kili to stare at his back while he walked towards Bard and Gandalf, who were discussing quietly not so far away from them.

* * *

After the feast, that night, Kili found himself wandering in the large corridors of Erebor. He didn't know where he was going, but when he suddenly faced the doors behind which he knew now rested his brother and Uncle, he paused. He was almost horrified. Why did he come here? And why wasn't he leaving?

He looked over his shoulder and didn't see anybody. Good... No one needed to know that he was here right now. Not even his mother or his friends.

He put his hand on the knob and pushed the door open. It was dark here, he immediately noticed. But he knew darkness and stepped forward, closing the door behind him as silently as possible. And as soon as his eyes accommodated to the darkness, he searched for the tombs of Fili and Thorïn. He knew this was quite morbid, but he needed to... at least see where they were buried, if he could not see them.

They were buried at the very end of the mausoleum. He looked at their graves grimly, and then started to speak to them. "Why did you leave me, _nadad_? You weren't supposed to die, and neither were you, Uncle... Or maybe I- maybe I should have died with you! Why didn't I die with you? I should have protected you both until my last breath!"

He felt something streaming down his cheeks and realized that he was crying. He kneeled before the two tombs and sobbed. And he kept on crying for a long, _very_ long time.

* * *

 **Translation:**

 ** _Amad_ = Mother (Khuzdul)**

 ** _Nadad_ = Brother (Khuzdul)**

* * *

 **Okay, I kind of feel like I'm constantly repeating myself, with Kili mourning Fili and Thorïn... But I don't really think I should make him just... forget about them! Tell me what you think about it: should I stop writing "too much" about it, or should I continue?**

 **And I'm sorry too about spending so much time about the plot of the coronation and Kili's choice (especially that they all try to convince him by saying the same things, basically ^^), but it is the end of it now, because... Well, he _is_ the King now! :)**

 **I just want to say that Tauriel never existed in this story (which is more based on the book), so in my opinion, that's why Legolas came back to Mirkwood after the Battle of the Five Armies. In my story, Bofur used to live in the Ered Luin, even if he comes from Moria.**

 **Anyway, sorry again for making you wait so long! And please, tell me what you thought about this chapter, and more particularly of the coronation, because that's what worries me a lot! ;)**

 **Another thing, the title is referring to the last scene of the chapter. And one last thing, I hope that the flash-back being in the present tense did not bother you... And I am sorry if it did!**

 **I think I will post every two weeks from now on, I'll be more able to keep that delay...**

 **The next chapter will have the first "political" discussion in it, so I hope it won't bore you, because even in French (which is my native language), I am not sure it would be great! ;)**


	4. Apology - Not a chapter

**Hello everyone!**

 **I know some of you are probably waiting for a new chapter of _The Royalty of Erebor_ , but I'm sorry to anounce that I will not be uploading this story for quite a long time. I have lost all inspiration right now (shame on me!), and I hope it will come back.**

 **I am not abandoning the story though, I'm still writing it very, _very_ slowly!**

 **I hope you will forgive me, and have a nice day everyone! :)**


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